The Many Faces of Resistance

When I sat down to write last month’s post on adversity, Resistance* showed up immediately.

What angle was I supposed to take? Was adversity the big, life-altering kind — grief, job loss, depression — or the slow-drip kind: burnout, boredom, frustration at work? I couldn’t find a thread that felt right.

So I stepped away. Told myself I’d come back when I had a clearer idea. But I didn’t.

Resistance didn’t yell. It whispered. It handed me good reasons to wait, and I took them. One missed week turned into another. I started telling myself I didn’t care. But the truth is, I did.

And looking back, I see it clearly now: Resistance had many faces, and I gave them all a seat at the table.

Resistance Behind the Mask

The guy I pay to talk to regularly (read: my therapist) has me working through the IFS model — Internal Family Systems. It’s basically a way to understand the different “parts” of ourselves, especially the ones that show up to protect, avoid, or manage discomfort.

The longer I sit with this Resistance theme, the more I realize: Resistance isn’t just one voice. It’s a whole committee.

There’s the procrastination part. The guilt part. The shame part. The perfectionist part. The sense of duty part. They all swirl together into one foggy mess that I’ve come to know as Resistance.

In this instance, Resistance didn’t come kicking the door in. It slipped in quietly. It sounded calm. Logical, even. It whispered:

• You can do it later.
• You’re not ready yet.
• You need more information.
• This isn’t the right time.
• Just handle this one other thing first.

And just like that, posting on this blog, the work I care most about slipped further and further away.

Here’s what Resistance looked like for me last month:

• Lack of motivation.
• Distraction disguised as productivity.
• A low-grade depression I didn’t want to acknowledge.
• Fear of getting it wrong.
• The pressure to be perfect.
• Judgment (of myself, of the writing).
• Analysis paralysis.
• The gravitational pull of everything is “more urgent”.
• Waiting. Always waiting. For what, I’m not sure.

Some days, Resistance looked like scrolling Instagram, other days like working too much, and on some days, it didn't do anything. Other days, it did anything but what I wanted to do.

But it always came with the same story: You can get to it later.

Naming the Part Called Resistance

What I’m learning about these parts inside me, through IFS and life itself, is that none of them are bad.

We love to label things: good, bad, helpful, harmful. But our parts? They’re just parts. Each one has a role, a voice, a reason.

They don’t exist to cause pain. Most of the time, they’re trying to protect us, trying to guide us toward something that feels safe… or away from something that feels like risk.

They have a job to do. And it’s not until we slow down, recognize them, and ask them what they need, like we would in any relationship, that we begin to understand their purpose.

Here’s the simple truth: we all have running internal dialogues. That voice that says, “not now,” or “you’re not ready,” or “you’re going to screw this up”. That’s a part speaking.

When we name that voice, we bring it out of the shadows. And once we name it, we can begin to relate to it. Understand it.

There’s a saying in recovery: “We are only as sick as our secrets.” I think the same is true with our parts. When we keep them hidden, they hold the power.

But when we name them, they lose their mystery. They become familiar. Less frightening. More honest.

Resistance is one of those parts.

Part of dealing with Resistance starts when we stop fighting it. When we acknowledge it, get to know it, and listen for what it’s trying to protect.

Sometimes, we have to say to the Resistance committee, “Thank you for caring, but I’ve got this.”

Because the presence of Resistance isn’t a reason to stop.

It’s proof that you’re finally heading in the right direction.

*Resistance (n.):

The quiet, persistent force inside us that pulls us away from the work that matters most — not with shouting, but with subtle distractions, self-doubt, busyness, guilt, and fear. It shows up in many forms: perfectionism, procrastination, fatigue, even logic. It isn’t the enemy — it’s a part of us, often trying to protect us from discomfort, exposure, or failure. But it also points the way.

Resistance isn’t just what blocks the path. It is the path. It reveals what matters by pushing hardest against it.